Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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