I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
