New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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