But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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