Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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