what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
