brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize