glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize