Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
our cab driver is having phone sex.
How's work?
Spinning.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize