Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
