We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
