Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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