Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
