It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
