Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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