im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
