; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
of course. lets lasso hookers.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
