smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
