You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
