good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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