They should really pass out barf bags in church
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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