I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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