first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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