So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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