I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
