The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
