Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
