so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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