All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize