Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
