Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
