My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
