The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
