Well apparently he's into motor boating.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
