Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
