Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
