Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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