I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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