he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
