its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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