I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
