Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
