My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Don't make out with my wife yet
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
