i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
