I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
