i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize