wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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