ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
