What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
