I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
