I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
