This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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