walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
