I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Sext me about skeletons
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
