Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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