I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
