I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize