no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
