i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
