1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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