he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
