Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
