The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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