when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
