you would pick up someone in the library
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
