I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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