so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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