i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
