Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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