just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Im part way to drunk.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
