help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I need water and some morals
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
